It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
