I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
