Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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