she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
