You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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