It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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