An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
