I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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