hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
