My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
