no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize