turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
