I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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