4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
