That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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