i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
