your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
