Do you still have your period?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
did i just pee glitter
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
