Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
