Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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