everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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