Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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