would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
