This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
