I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Barsexuality is the new black.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
