I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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