And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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