He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I party with great urgency now.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
