New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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