Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
