You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
