I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
