did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
