wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
