He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
