I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
