are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
