love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
