I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
