New invention idea: vibrating tampons
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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