smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
