Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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