You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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