Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
