my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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