I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
