I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize