In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize