Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
