Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
