Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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