Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
