I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
