My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
