I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
