He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
