So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
