I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
