Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's rum buckets o'clock
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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