this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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