you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
