Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
BRING THE BAGELS
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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