My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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