It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
