Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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